With New York making marriage equality legal this weekend we started discussing working with non-traditional family structures.
There are estimates that half of all marriages in America currently end in divorce. If the estimates are true, nannies must be prepared for working for children whose parents are divorced.
Divorce can be difficult for everyone in the family including child care providers. But it's best that nannies stay out of the middle of disputes between the parents. Nannies and parents need to work together for the children.
Nannies must communicate with the parents so there is no confusion about who is in charge and when because rules may change from house to house. Caregivers need to know about all custody and visitation issues.
Here is some advice from Cindy Strasheim of Nebraska Cooperative Extension on providing stability to children during divorce.
Keep normal schedules and routines. Encourage parents to do the same at home. Try not to change any more things than necessary.
Reassure infants and toddlers. Let them know that you are still there. Use lots of hugs and loving words.
Keep children's favorite toys, blankets, or stuffed animals close at hand. Allow children to bring items from home to the other settings. Find some things that the child can hold for a long time.
Be patient. Allow children to be upset. Let children be babyish for a while. The more advanced behavior should return soon.
Find out what the children know about the divorce. Ask the parents what they have said. Ask what the parents would like you to say.
Ask the parents about their plans for schedules and living situations. Help the child understand what will change and what will not change.
Consistent discipline. Do not change the rules just because of the divorce. Discipline as you always would. The child needs guidelines.
Both parents and nannies should consistently explain to children that they are not responsible for the divorce. You may need to say it many times. Nannies should help create stability and security in the lives of children.
There are estimates that half of all marriages in America currently end in divorce. If the estimates are true, nannies must be prepared for working for children whose parents are divorced.
Divorce can be difficult for everyone in the family including child care providers. But it's best that nannies stay out of the middle of disputes between the parents. Nannies and parents need to work together for the children.
Nannies must communicate with the parents so there is no confusion about who is in charge and when because rules may change from house to house. Caregivers need to know about all custody and visitation issues.
Here is some advice from Cindy Strasheim of Nebraska Cooperative Extension on providing stability to children during divorce.
Keep normal schedules and routines. Encourage parents to do the same at home. Try not to change any more things than necessary.
Reassure infants and toddlers. Let them know that you are still there. Use lots of hugs and loving words.
Keep children's favorite toys, blankets, or stuffed animals close at hand. Allow children to bring items from home to the other settings. Find some things that the child can hold for a long time.
Be patient. Allow children to be upset. Let children be babyish for a while. The more advanced behavior should return soon.
Find out what the children know about the divorce. Ask the parents what they have said. Ask what the parents would like you to say.
Ask the parents about their plans for schedules and living situations. Help the child understand what will change and what will not change.
Consistent discipline. Do not change the rules just because of the divorce. Discipline as you always would. The child needs guidelines.
Both parents and nannies should consistently explain to children that they are not responsible for the divorce. You may need to say it many times. Nannies should help create stability and security in the lives of children.
What is your advice for working with parents that are divorced?