Is Your Mom Boss Like Nancy or Bambi?
In the aftermath of the Casey Anthony trial, some commentators negatively portrayed HLN's Nancy Grace as cranky, aggressive, and opinionated. Those characterizations sound just like the way some nannies describe their Mom Bosses. Ambitious, hard-driving, and unyielding, these Mom Bosses can be difficult employers.
Then there is the Mom Boss who cries at the mention of Bambi. The maternal instinct of these Mom Bosses is always near the surface. They are doting and obsessed with the children's smallest needs.
Both types of Mom Bosses love their kids. The 'Nancy' mom needs a nanny so she can pursue her career. The 'Bambi' mom needs a nanny to be able to extend her social network.
Obviously, no Mom Boss is exclusively one type or another, and no one should be specifically classified.
Does your Mom Boss fit into these categories? If so, how does your Mom Boss affect your actions as a nanny?
8 comments:
The micromanaging mom boss is by far the worst to work for. It makes you feel defeated and dumb. Can't win. I've also worked for the over-emotional mom which is really annoying, but much better that being micromanaged. A mom that micromanaged me once said she was looking to hire herself. That's a red flag since no one can find themself.
Seriously no pay is worth working for a mom that micromanages everything you do.
My current MB is one who is very emotional and permissive in her parenting. She has however told me that she realises this and needs me to be consistent and firmer than she is. But on the whole she's an awesome mom.
Egads, I am a micromanager type myself. Several years ago I had interviewed for a mom who I suspected of being the one part bambi and one part nancy, I purposely said no to that. I went off to work in a home where a mom died, and this MB I interviewed with turns out used to work with my current Db and she sent a sympathy card. So when I saw it I mentioned I had met her, and what came of the experience. My DB, oh you and her together, he laughed, no that would have been too much.
Is there a way to figure out these personalities in a parent during an interview? I don't think we can really know if the parents are micromanagers or not until we start the job.
I have dealt with both and I have to say that the micromanaging was the worst! I hated the job and it was just all wrong for me. I lasted 10 months. I also worked for a mom who was really emotional about going back to work (temporarily). She cried a lot in the beginning but as time went on, I realized that it was about more than that. Thankfully, my training as a postpartum doula taught me to listen...I think that's' what she needed most...someone to listen.
Parents that micromanage make me feel like they don't trust me. It's negative and ruins the job. I have never left a job due to the kids, only the parents.
If a parent has a micromanaging style they shouldn't hire experienced nannies. First time or beginner nannies might actually need guidance. For anyone with more than a year of experience leave us alone and let us do our jobs!!
Over emotional parents are difficult to work for because they are scared of everything. If you are too scared to let us do anything the kid is going to have a terrible life and the nanny is miserable too.
My MB's have not been any of these to an extreme.
First MB really was wonderful- and she is a hard one to beat! She never worked from home, but we met up at least once a week to have lunch. She always treated me as a professional but also a friend/family member, but knew where to draw the line so that it never got "too personal".
2nd MB- was a high level exective, and treated me 100% as professional and never questioned my judgement and always backed me up. However, after working for her for 5 years- I don't think she even knew if my parents were alive-or if I had any siblings. I always appreciated the way she treated me as a professional- but missed the "friendly" side.
3rd MB- was great- and we worked really well together, as she worked from home one or two days a week. Since she was there when I was working- she would help out- by having her child's lunch ready or helping me when I came back with groceries, etc. Since she was home often, we spent much of my down time together and she quickly treated me too much as a friend- and it got to be "too" friendly, as she would tell me very personal things- I don't think a nanny should have known- and then I felt bad for her situation and always tried to go way above and beyond and sort of "rescue" her from having too much stress. I don't work for her anymore and we still talk- and I do enjoy having her as a friend now.
Current boss-works from home most days, so she can easily see what I and her child's day is like- so sometimes I do feel she "micro-manages" - especially by asking me to do extra things on my down time. It can get to be really rough when you feel like you don't get a break during the day. I also wish since she is home, and when she comes out of her office, she would help out a bit more with her child during the day like my previous boss did. And not find More things for me to do...just because I have a little down time when baby naps.
I currently work for a SAHM and all she does in micromanage me the entire 45 hours a week that I'm there! It's a nightmare! She jokingly once said to a friend of mine, that she has to micromanage everyone in her life from her husband to her son, to people who work for her.
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