Are Rules Sometimes Meant to Be Broken? Authoritative Parenting
This week we are discussing working with parents of the four parenting styles defined by child development researcher Diana Baumrind.
If you hear the parents (or yourself) often saying, "Because I said so" it's likely they are (or you are) using an authoritative parenting style. Adults who use the authoritative parenting style don't listen to children's explanations or concerns. Instead, these adults are results orientated and dish out a lot of punishment without hearing the children's explanations. Adults who adopt the authoritative parenting style are demanding of children, but not particularly responsive to their children’s needs and concerns.
Children raised under this kind of control often have less social ability. They are also more likely to experience a nervous breakdown, become runaways, or otherwise rebel against their parents.
For most nannies working for parents that are authoritarian can be difficult because the parents don't seem to listen to their children enough or understand their children's emotional needs.
Although it can be difficult to confront parents about their parenting style if nannies feel the parents are too strict and punishing the kids unfairly here is some advice on how to discuss the parenting style with the parents.
In the article "Handling Complaints and Solving Problems" by Iowa State
University, before caregivers speak with employers about a job related issue,
nannies should think about what they want to say and present their statements in
a professional and respectful manner. Bring it to the attention of the parents
at a time when neither of you is tired. Talk in a polite and helpful manner.
Don't blame the parents, instead phrase your comments positively and ask for the
parent's help and advice. It will be easier for the parents to accept your
complaint if they know that you see their child's good points too.
State the problem.
2. Listen to the parent's explanation.
3. Check your
understanding of the problem by summarizing.
4. Share your thoughts and
feelings about the problem.
5. Brainstorm solutions.
6. Try to reach an
7. Be as specific as possible.
Have you ever worked for parents you feel unfairly punish their kids too much?