Weekly Trip to the Library for Nannies and Au Pairs
The Babywise Method On Becoming Baby Side: The Classic Sleep Reference By Gary Ezzo
This book has become very controversial with a concern among pediatricians that this method outlines an infant feeding program that has been associated with failure to thrive (FTT), poor weight gain, dehydration, breast milk supply failure, and involuntary early weaning. But, the techniques are widely liked so we will explain them here. Click here to see an article by Mathew Aney, M.D. that outlines the concerns.
The Babywise Method encourages parents to adopt a routine with both feeding and sleeping from day one. The Babywise approach encourages parent directed feeding (PDF) as opposed to demand feeding your baby whether breast feeding or bottle feeding.
The Babywise Parent Directed Feeding concept has enough structure to bring security and order to a baby's world, yet enough flexibility to give the parents freedom to respond to any need at any time. It teaches parents how to lovingly guide their baby's day rather than be guided or enslaved to the infant's unknown needs. The information contained within On
Instead of putting the baby to bed right after feeding, feed the baby after she wakes up from naps. This way, the baby will stop eating when he is full, not when he is tired, which is a huge problem, especially with very little babies.
Briefly, the basic principles covered include:
1. Feeding approximately every three hours.
2. Trying to keep the baby awake during feedings and a little afterwards.
3. Putting the baby down to sleep before the next feeding
4. Keeping the baby on a eat-wake-sleep routine to help their hunger stabilize for faster nighttime sleeping.
5. Trying not to allow babies to become overly dependent for sleep on any one prop such as: rocking, swings, slings, pacifiers, car rides, and so on.
6. Generally helping the baby's needs to fit into your or the family's routine, rather than arranging your or the family's needs completely around the baby's routine (or having none at all).
Have you used the Babywise Method to help an infant to sleep?
32 comments:
I have turned down job offers because this was the method the parents wanted me to use. Their right to decide what they want, but my right to decide if that is a good fit for me.
Babywise holds the distinction of being the first method ever condemned by the American Association of Pediatrics. Many people claim it works...but just because something works doesn't mean it's safe or healthy in the long term.
I hope that anyone who is thinking of using this method would carefully read up on the inherent dangers and be fully aware of what they are really getting into. There's a lot of well researched info at www.ezzo.info
The book's other author is Gary Ezzo, a pastor with no medical background.
Ezzo's company, Growing Families International (GFI), markets the book with added religious material.
Always feed a baby when they are hungry no matter what. Never ever do not feed a baby simply because it does not fit into your schedule.
I read this:
The advice of Gary Ezzo is in direct opposition to the latest AAP recommendations on newborn feeding (AAP Policy Statement, "Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk," Pediatrics, Dec. 1997): "Newborns should be nursed whenever they show signs of hunger, such as increased alertness or activity, mouthing, or rooting. Crying is a late indicator of hunger. Newborns should be nursed approximately eight to 12 times every 24 hours until satiety."
Julia, Friendswood, TX
I'm not a fan of Babywise, but I do believe in establishing healthy eating and sleeping habits. Contrary to popular belief, you can actually achieve a beautiful balance between listening to your baby's needs and teaching healthy habits.
Teaching healthy habits doesn't equal "cry it out", withholding feedings or ignoring a baby's needs.
Having cared for hundreds of newborns, I can attest to what not only works, but what leads to breast-feeding success, less PPD, manageable reflux and happy, well-rested babies AND parents.
Although Ezzo tends to illustrate the extreme, there are other great techniques that are more balanced and encourage parents to have a flexible plan AND to listen to their baby's needs.
I think we ought to provide care for babies long before they cry. Reducing their need to cry is providing the best care!
It's interesting because I didn't ask about the parents infant philosophies when I started this nanny job because the parents only had two older children when I was hired. It was a surprise that they got pregnant and had the baby. I am thirlled to be caring for a newborn. Only the parents are following this book.
What I've noticed is that they think they are following these methods but really aren't.
See, once the baby gets really really upset, meaning crying up to 20 minutes, we always give in to feed him or put him to sleep. So he cries it out but then we give in.
So in fact, we are just doing what the baby wants us to do anyway.
I prefer the much more popular and common methods of just providing the infant whatever they need even BEFORE THEY CRY. You know that they will be hungry when they wake up so just be ready to feed them. No need to let them cry.
So basically my only issue is the parents think we are following a book to help their infant sleep when in fact the infant is still doing what they are telling us to do (but after 20 min of cryin).
In future jobs I won't want to take a nanny job that allows baby to cry for that long. Although a little crying is only natural and not harmful not need to let a infant cry on purpose.
Breastfed babies can go through a feeding in 45 minutes and be hungry again. Here's how I see it. I get hungry about a certain number of times a day. Some times I am more hungry than others. I never eat because it's a certain time, but more because I'm hungry to eat. Those happen to fall around the same times, but never at the same time every day. Also, I found that book to be very medically unsound. There were MANY claims they made that had no actual medical basis, which scares me.
http://www.ezzo.info/babywise.htm
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2001/july8/12.20.html
I should add, my daughter, who was NEVER on a schedule slept through the night much, much earlier (by a year almost) than my son who was on Babywise scheudle.
My point? Is it the method, or the child that dictates when they are ready to sleep through the night?
This book, method and author have been resoundingly condemned by a plethora of leading experts, for instance: The American Academy of Pediatrics (you can find their statement if you do a quick search at www.aap.org), Focus on the Family and Dr. James Dobson, well respected parenting and family life expert. I generally do not look into the character of authors I read, but when someone is telling me how to raise my precious children (I have three)
I do want to know exactly what sort of person and parent they are. A quick search of newspaper archives or the internet shows that Gary Ezzo has been followed by scandal.
A little research into Mr. Ezzos credentials shows that his claims of being an ordained pastor with experience pastoring at least one church, and of holding theological degrees, is completely fabricated. No church will claim him, and no theological college has any record of his ever attending, much less receiving degrees. It is no crime not to be a pastor, or not to hold theological degrees. But why would someone make up those things if it weren’t true. Certainly many people without those credentials have written fine books about parenting, why does Mr.Ezzo feel a need to make these things up? It raises a red flag in my mind, and I feel his book should be looked at with extreme caution.
Gary Ezzo reduces parenting to lists of do’s and don’ts. This would work if babies were machines. But they are not. His feeding schedules are considered medically dangerous, producing a fair number of malnourished babies. His methods of ignoring a babies cry are known to lead to depression and attachment disorder. He teaches parents to ignore their basic parenting instincts and stick to his schedule instead. He claims that parenting instincts don’t exist. Well, I have three sons, and I can tell you that my parenting instincts are alive and well, and helping me each and every day to be the best parent I can be. According to Dr. William Sears, Dr. Jack Newman and Dr James Dobson (all of whom have verifiable credentials and have published excellent books on the same topics covered in Babywise) parenting instincts are an extremely important aid in child rearing.
As someone who herself holds a verifiable theological degree, I find Gary Ezzos claim that his methods are biblical offensive. If one takes a verse here and there out of context one can prove about anything. If one looks at Scripture as a whole, it is quickly apparent that Babywise methods are extremely opposite to the scriptural model of the parent child relationship that is modeled for us by God the Father Himself. He is open, loving and extremely flexible. God hears our cries, and never ignores us. He meets us when we cry, not later at some predetermined hour.
Babywise completely misses and undermines all the most rewarding and exciting parts of parenting.
Kileym
I personally couldn't get through this book because of the condescending tone of the authors but the general method is pretty close to what I do with my baby, and recommended by my very caring middle of the road pediatrician.
I can speak from a professional standpoint (breastfeeding educator and mother-baby RN) and Babywise does not work when breastfeeding. Lots of breast milk supply issues are a result of Babywise and scheduled feedings. Babies tend to have a sleepy period and cluster feed (feedings one right after the other) and the scheduled feedings of babywise does not work with a baby who cluster feeds and then sleeps a long period of time.
My advise to you is to throughly research Ezzo and babywise and other parenting techniques and then take what you want from each and attempt to incorporate them in your parenting style. Cara
Nursing and feeding is very much a comfort thing for babies. Babies need to be comforted. Obviously, when children grow, there is a time when you do not bend to their every demand. However, when they are babies, I think it is very important to be "attached" and follow their insticts. There have been many studies done which show that these children actually grow to be more secure and independent children later, as that security has been established early on.
I the feed baby whenever he is hungry. I would never deny him that simply because it did not fit into "my schedule". I have met many many parents who have the same parenting ideas as me. I have yet to meet one with an unruly child who thinks they have some control over the parents.
Just do what the baby wants. Very wrong to let them cry ans withhold food or sleep or make the sleep or eat when they don't want to.
There is a HUGE difference between routine and schedule. I think routines for the most part are necessary and good. Such as a bath before bed time, meals at certain times, etc. It does help establish a sense of security and the child knows what to expect.
However, I truly believe that infants are capable of knowing when they need to be fed. I do not believe all infants (especially bf ones) can go four hours without eating. I also think they are very aware of when they are tired, and I'm not going to make my baby lay down wide awake if he's not ready to.
Here is an answer written by Gary Ezzo defending his system:
Babywise can be preachy! But, it is often taken too literally. On Becoming Babywise is intended to be a guide for parents who are looking to take the guesswork out of parenting a newborn. "Babywise stands between two theoretical extremes of the parenting spectrum: hyperscheduling at one end and attachment-parenting at the other extreme.
Misconception #1: Babywise teaches schedule feedings, meaning that infant feedings are determined by strict schedules.
This is false. Hunger, not the clock, determines feedings with Babywise. Here are some examples taken directly from On Becoming Babywise.
When the hunger cue is present, the clock is submissive to the cue, because hunger cues, not the clock, determine feedings.
“With PDF, a mother feeds her baby when he is hungry, but takes advantage of the first few weeks to guide the baby’s hunger patterns by a basic routine” (p. 38). (A basic routine is defined as feeding a baby every two to three hours.)
“If your baby is hungry, feed him or her. If the child routinely shows signs of hunger before the next scheduled feeding, then find out why, rather than letting the baby cry it out”(p. 145).
“Hunger cues, not the clock, determine feedings” (p. 112).
“Hunger is always a legitimate reason to feed in less than two hours” (p. 115).
“Crying is a late signal of hunger” (p. 65). "
Why would anyone raise an infant by a book? Why would anyone let an infant cry? I have always been told that infants cannot be spoiled. I would recommend less crying for an infant the better, especially if you want to raise a confident, trusting, secure child!
Shelby Guthrie, Saratoga, CA
Mr. Ezzo is a rapist. He molests little kids and yall are listening to him. Come on!!!!!!
I think all those leaving comments, should read the book first. I agree with the other person that saidt he book is a guideline and a resource and the baby's needs are most important and the baby wants to sleep the night through by the 6-8th week. Sounds like all those who are complaining didn't even read the book.
I read the book, implemented it with love (while breastfeeding) and I have a very happy, healthy 2 year old, who did not wean early, has had a very healthy sleep schedule from day one, and who has had lots of love from his Dad and I. Our oldest, who we did not implement the Babywise theory with, still has problems going to sleep, staying asleep, etc. Chase, the Babywise 2-year-old, lays down, by himself, in the dark (which is how he prefers it AND the best way to get good rest)and sleeps all night. Just thought I'd share a success story. The book is a guideline, and it certainly doesn't ask you to ignore your child.
I am a single mother and a parenting book junkie! After reading the reviews of this book I felt I had to have it. 'Chapter 1: Your Baby Needs a Family' as I read this I thought to myself, 'Oh, what a great place to start, maybe there's tips on single parent families too.' Three and a half pages later I literally threw the book across the room. The chapter talked about the importance of husband - wife parents with NO EXCEPTIONS. He bashing single parents. According to their 'beliefs' single parent children are: emotionally unhealthy, unstable, insecure, uncertain, anxiety ridden, 'on the brink of disaster', unconfident, unsatisfied, unable to desire to share in joy, unable to seek the comforts of togetherness. I am a very happy, successful, intelligent, dedicated, loving, confident single mother and found this EXTREMELY judgemental, hurtful, biased, ignorant, and just plan bull! Obviously most parents don't plan to be a single parent family and I am completely shocked that these authors are so insensitive to reality! I'm a firm believer that it is better for children to come from a broken home than to live in a broken home. Hopefully someone can enlighten these fools.
I have three kids. Nursed them all for one year. They all thrived, cried very little and slept through the night at about 2 months old. This book does not encourage crying or ignoring or over scheduling your child. Common sense is stressed in this book and going to extremes is discouraged. It really is best to read something thoroughly before judging it. My pediatrician and MD husband trust and support me as a mother, and friends and other young moms often call me for advice on how to care for their infants. I believe it is largely because of the things I learned in this book, and how happy, content, plump and well rested they were as babies. Common sense and natural maternal instincts should override any book or advice we get as we parent our children. This book allows for that.
I have a suggestion for the people criticizing the book. Read it first. And if you have read it read it again. The book suggests feeding when a baby is hungry, changing their diaper when they are dirty, comforting when they need comforting. Our baby was waking 5 and 6 times a night. After one day using Baby Wise he woke only twice in the night. He also cried much less and was much more alert. Also, sorry to all the people who have had a divorce and are offended by the author saying that babies need both parents, but the fact is they do. My parents divorced when I was young and it took several years for me to straighten out emotionally and my brother who is 40 years old still struggles. I know several people who have come from split homes and have major emotional or relationship problems. When you choose to get a divorce you are harming your child... period. Never fool yourself into thinking that divorce is a clean break and that some other person or yourself can fill the role of the other parent.
Jakie-
Like most first time parents I didn't have a clue what to expect or do with my new born. Babywise gave me the tools I needed to get a clue. Like Ben says read the book at no point does it say to deprive your baby of anything, infact it says don't keep your baby on a stict schedual. Flexiblity is the key to any program. Within 2 weeks my newborn was sleeping through the night only waking once, within six weeks he was sleeping through the night. Babies do better when mom and dad are getting enough sleep. Babywise is so much more than just getting a good night sleep. I get this book for every new mom!
for anyone stating you need to read the bnook before critizing it, i say do your research on whoes advice you are following. he has NO educational background to back up anything he says and it is a FACT that many breastfed babies have been found failure to thrive and severly underweight when the parents follow this book and his methods. the milk supply is also way down for these moms. there is something called storage capacity that he clearly has no idea about.
how can he say to feed on a schedule and than also say to feed your baby when hungry? totally contradicts itself! because babies are not hungry on a scheldule!
look into his methods for potty training and disapline also..... CRAZY!!
I am a lucky father of a 6 week old little girl. I have to say that not only has the baby wise method worked for us, but also changed the life of a close friend who also has a 6 week old and was not aware of this method. Her baby wouldn't sleep and would constantly fuss, only finally falling asleep when being rocked or held. After two days of baby wise, her baby is sleeping through the night.
I found this book to really be founded on a loving relationship with your child. Children need structure and order to feel secure. How the he'll can you say a 3 week old knows best? It is our jobs as parents to decide what is best for our children. How can you ever expect to be the leader and rock for your child if from the very first moment they were the ones in control?
I think the most over looked idea in this book which is almost always omitted in every extremely negative review is that the first two to three weeks of infancy, until the baby regains birthweight, the most important thing is to feed the baby whenever they are hungry and not to implement this system until the 2nd-4th week. It is tru that putting a newborn on a schedule is not ideal, and this book never advocates this action. It is very clear when to start this system....read the book, and follow the plan and you will not regret it. I can't believe how many negative reviews there are and what a positive outcome we have had. It may not be for everyone, but this really did make a positive difference for us.
I'm a nanny working for a family who uses the Babywise method. Both kids were sleeping through the night by 6- 8 weeks. Who cares if the author isn't a stupid PHD?? I'm not a PHD either!! I listen to my mom's advice, my grandma's advice, and they don't have PHD's. So what if the author isn't so great in other areas of his life. I could care less if my auto mechanic has a great family life - I just want his advice on how to fix my car. I read the book, the WHOLE book, and it NEVER encourages parents to let a newborn go hungry (and the babies I cared for on the method NEVER went hungry! They always ate their full bottle as soon as they woke up). And for the oversensitive single parents - seemed to me like the author was just trying to encourage young parents to keep a healthy bond between themselves - even statistics show that children from broken homes are more likely to have issues down the road, and I wouldn't be surprised if a LOT of mommies and daddies started growing emotionally distant from their partner during those early, sleepless parent nights - short tempers, etc. Having a baby sleep through the night means mom and dad sleep through the night, and well rested parents or parent means they can spend more quality (UNGRUMPY) time with baby during the day! Even if you are a single parent, there's lots to learn from babywise - if you had a deaf child, would you throw the book across the room if it emphasized the importance of music for a child's development? Having a daddy is awesome and a definitely valuable part of a kids emotional stability, but if your kid doesn't have one, (or has a really horrible one) you can still be a totally amazing mom. :)
i followed the advice from Babywise and my first son was sleeping 8 hours at night by 12 weeks. My daughter is now 8 weeks old and is well rested and well fed by following this advice. She also has healthy sleep habits. I would recommend this book to other parents.
There is no one way that EVERYONE should parent. To say demand feeding is for everyone is ridiculous. This is a busy world, not everyone breastfeeds, or uses formula. I bottle feed only breast milk. The bottom line is that schedules are necessary for some people, not a want, but absolutely necessary. That's NEVER going to change. Babywise is a wonderful book for those types of parents. Common sense IS required! To blame a book for failure to thrive in a child is just as ridiculous as blaming McDonalds for being fat. Really?? And loss of milk production? If you really want to use Babywise and have this problem...buy a pump! Otherwise go demand feed your child then. I'm a Babywise mom and have raised two kids with these techniques. If it's not for you it's not for you that's fine..go parent your way. It's not child abuse...could you be any more dramatic? I mean come on! lol And I'm so tired of hearing about the Ezzos. I DON'T CARE. I don't care about his relationship with his kids, I don't care about his religious beliefs or excommunication. I must have missed the part in the book where he asks me to join his Faith. YES, I use babywise and am not AT ALL religious. All my friends use Babywise and I have passed it on to family members that also love it. My children have thrived on this method and my future ones will too..because I'm a good parent with common sense. If you don't like Babywise..good, fine, don't use it. But I will continue to, thanks!
I have to smile at parents talking about their infants sleeping through the night at 8-12 weeks because they followed Babywise. I have three children, all older now (15 down to 10), and I did read Babywise cover to cover when my oldest was about 5 months. I thought the methods were ludicrous, so I didn't ever follow them. And my demand-fed babies all slept through the night by 12 weeks. It's a natural phenomenom for many babies, nothing to do with following Babywise. And since when is it a crime for a baby to wake at night, anyway?
I thought Babywise was very helpful. I am tired of people putting things down that they haven't tried or that have worked for others. I would never say that Babywise is the only way that works or is what is best for everyone, but it was very helpful for my family.
I tried nursing my baby to sleep because babies tend to fall asleep that way pretty easily. But a lot of times when I went to put her down to stay asleep in the middle of the night, no matter how long I held her to try to make sure she was all the way asleep first, she woke up most of the time. I was exhausted and couldn't help thinking of my friend who nurses her kids until they are a few years old and putting her kids to bed can take hours because she would nurse her baby and her toddler to sleep and if they woke up she'd have to do it all over again. That's a choice that they made and I respect that, but it's not what I wanted. The thought of being this tired for a few months was bad enough but to do it for years was something I was not willing to do. I wanted my baby to learn to go to sleep at bedtime and believe in the importance of setting good examples early on. I didn't like the idea of just letting her cry it out at such a young age, so at bed time I would lay her down and put my hand on her. Sometimes I would sing. I watched the clock because two minutes can easily feel like ten. I let her know that I was there but it was bedtime. She never cried more than ten minutes and that only lasted a couple of days. I totally let her use a pacifier though. That's a choice we made. I think everyone has to take what works here and leave what doesn't there (and stop bashing other people's choices.) She became an amazing little sleeper at 4 weeks. Yes she woke up in the middle of the night to eat, they are supposed to. But she went to sleep when it was time to go to sleep and went to sleep by herself again in the middle of the night after her feeding. So different from a lot of my friends who struggle to get sleep for months.
Babywise does NOT tell you to not feed your baby if your baby is hungry. It just says that just because a baby cries, doesn't necessarily mean that it is hungry. If a baby is getting a full feeding every three hours or whatever, it most likely will not cry from hunger in between that. First check for other possible causes. If the baby is still upset, try feeding him. If he is needing to be fed every hour or so on a regular basis, you might want to check your milk supply and make sure the baby is getting enough to eat. Maybe he is and he's just crazy hungry and growing fast. So be it.
Also I know a lot of people who believe that a baby should be nursed for everything- like if they are upset because they fell down- and although I did do that in certain situations, mostly I wanted my baby to eat because of hunger, not for every cry, and that she should learn to be soothed in other ways and by dad too not just mom. Again, just a decision of preference.
My baby is 2 now and has been an amazing sleeper her entire life after that first month. She is attached, healthy, I breastfed until after she was one- I didn't have any problems with my milk running out. She is fully THRIVING.
You don't have to choose to do Babywise yourself, but people should really stop trying to scare other people into not doing it, ESPECIALLY if you never even tried it yourself. The basic principles are not bad things. The sleep-eat-wake cycle is great. Other information is helpful, but like I said, take what you will here, take other information there. Use what works for you.
I have been researching many methods to get my baby to sleep better and more consistently. Many methods describe the support o a husband as very helpful. And to Ben who said divorce is not best for the child and a parent should not choose that I would hope you would know that parents don't always choose that. My husband cheated on me and left for the other woman and after asking him work it out for our baby's best interest and because marriage is a commitment he still doesn't want to after six months. And it is very difficult being a single mom and keeping to such a strict routine when it's only you and things constantly come up. Divorce does hurt families but please dont blanket statement that it's the single parents who choose to not let a child grow up with both parents, there are multiple situations in divorce like domestic violence and abandonment that cause people to have to be single parents. You should help those parents instead of judge them.
I can't believe what Im reading. Some of these posts sound like the person never read the book, or perhaps it was a different version of the book than I read! This book talks about the importance of mom and dad putting their relationship first, not making the child the centre of your universe but instead letting them know they are an addition to your existing family and teaching them that they need to fit into that. In my opinion, exactly the reason we see more and more children feeling a sense of entitlement, spoiled brats who grow up to run ragged in the streets with nary a fear of consequence. Exactly what is wrong with our world today! For those of you who are offended that they talk about the importance of both parents, you are delusional if you think that's not true. If your husband cheated on you..that's too bad and Im glad you are no longer with him because that is not a good environment for your children but that doesn't change the fact that children still thrive with both parents present. The book is simply stating facts, don't take it so personally! No where in the book does it say to withhold food unless the time is just right! I am a new mom to twins and have read and re read this book and am proud to say that at 7 weeks old, they are well adjusted thriving boys (and they were born premature!). They are on a 2.5-3 hour schedule that I am happy to stray from if need be because the book encourages you to use your COMMON SENSE before anything else. Those parents who's children died from Failure to Thrive, I can't imagine how you can blame a book which clearly states to feed your children when they are hungry. The man who wrote the book may not have an educational background in child rearing but guess what? I never went to cooking school but Im a whiz in the kitchen! If you don't agree with the book after giving it a fair read then chalk it up to not being your style of parenting. But a lot of the book is just common sense which clearly most people don't have, and these are probably the same people that disagree with the methods!
I find it interesting to read all these comments and "reviews" of baby wise. I used baby wise for both of my children because my four sisters and two brothers used it on their kids (22 kids in all). As a new mom I was grateful for the guidance and used so much of what I learned. I have a 4 year old, a 2 year old and I am due in a few weeks with our third. I am astonished with ignorance and all the negative feedback I am able to sluff off because I am able to realize that those who criticize it the most are those who haven't read it or tried it and so their opinions are not validated because their experience and knowledge is lacking. Those who have used the method seem to have had some success with it and do not seem as hostile in their sharing...I'm not going to attack other ways of parenting and I'm not even going to waste my time being offended by the comments of the people who think what I'm doing is harsh or unloving or ridiculous-because I truly believe that it is out of ignorance that they are sharing these opinions. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Sometimes it's just ignorant. Oh and for as for me and my family, it worked! My kids are great sleepers and we have a healthy attachment to each other. And the bonus, they slept through the night at 8 and 9 weeks so I got to sleep better too. I'm going to use it again for my third. Any of you out there reading this for some advice, read the book and take it for what it's worth.
After watching a baby I love get yanked in and out of bed, forced to eat when not hungry, and had food withheld when he was, and who is currently a hungry, bundle of nerves because of this "fabulous" method..I will make it my mission to remove as many of these books from the planet as possible. Besides, what Mother lets a man tell them how to raise their baby??
A friend of mine is pregnant, and as my oldest is now 17 years old...I told her about BabyWise. I raised all three of my daughters using this method. It worked like a charm. And after looking at the comments here, I thought I would let u know that 17 years later, I have healthy, VERY Smart, attached, emotionally intelligent, loving daughters. They are thriving. I think balance is key and that whatever approach you use, it has to be right for you. So..if you wanted to do Babywise but were scared off by some of the comments...just letting u know...it works and the kids turn out lovely!
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