Weekly Trip to the Library
I have never read a book in which I had so many "Aha" moments as I did when reading The Perfect Stranger: The Truth About Mothers and Nanniesby Lucy Kaylin.
The author who is the Editor in Chief of O, the Oprah Magazine, was an executive editor for Marie Claire, was a senior writer for GQ and is the author of For the Love of God: The Faith and Future of the American Nunexpresses the thinking I always wanted to share but haven't been able to articulate.
The author captures in a detailed, humorous, and accurate way the essence of the relationship between a mother and a nanny -- the frustrations, the surprises, the intricacies of that daily dance. She clearly describes the power struggles and intimacy in their working and personal relationships.
Nannies are not hired by only the wealthy but the struggling middle class, mothers needing to work so they hire a woman she barely knows to love her kids and keep him safe, clean, happy, and moving comfortably along the moral path she and her husband have marked out for him. The author explains if the arrangement it entered in with care and respect, with eyes and ears open; it may be the best thing that ever happens to parents. But, it is never easy.
Virtually all moms are in agreement that sweet, loving, competent women tend to make the best nannies. However, parents move past those criteria and there's a whole host of loopy, seeming arbitrary considerations a new mother can't begin to anticipate until she is in the thick of the hiring process.
Stereotypes that might lead to lawsuits in other career fields do influence the hiring process of nannies. Parents may question hiring an overweight lady who needs to chase around kids all day, but also don't want to hire a slimmer nanny that is too pretty who might create competition between the mother and nanny for the father's attention. The author also describes the concern of hiring a woman of color not wanting to perpetuate really crazy prejudices and preconceptions when hiring Latina or Caribbean nannies to care for white children.
She also explains that mothers do imagine themselves being judged by the nanny and worries about the details that might reflect poorly on her. And I know personally, as does any nanny in a Facebook or social media nanny group, that nannies do judge the decisions their employers make in raising their kids.
The book not only enlightens nannies about the guilt that working mothers experience while hiring caregivers, but she gives nannies a voice in the pages as well. The author understands many nannies leave small children of their own in their home country in order to work in homes in the States to make money for those kids. She cannot fathom how difficult it is for some nannies to abandon their own children (physically) to care for other kids in the hope of a better life.
The author says if nannies want to keep their jobs they have to roll with the chaos of family life, with the strife and the unpredictability of a household that isn't theirs, where the customs may be abhorrent to them -- where they'll find themselves elbow-deep in dirty laundry and figurative kind that's not their own. She explains how difficult the long hours of navigating around pajama-clad bosses who personal problems are strewn about the house like the colorful plastic toys they gather up and put away a dozen times a day can be.
She also shares the father's chief role in the female drama unfolding each day in the middle of his home as a peacemaker and facilitator each day.
The book describes an unregulated business, where the labor is carried out in private homes that isolate employees and shield employers. The potential is infinite for unfair business practices, a lot of it admittedly unwitting. Parents themselves set the wages and ground rules based on hearsay. But, no one is policing the situation. It is up to the employer to compensate the nanny fairly. In turn, the nanny must have the fortitude to challenge her employer, in lieu of a human resources department, if she thinks she's being cheated, something exceedingly difficult if she's an illegal alien living in fear of being deported. Stores are rampant of power-mongering bosses who threaten their undocumented employees with reporting them.
Be it the joys of caring for kids, to the daily struggles of working in someone else's home, to the legalities of working in an undocumented career field nannies and parents will gain much insight into the world of working as a nanny and hiring a nanny. I highly recommend all nannies read this book to better understand how difficult it is for working parents to leave their children in the care of other women and men so they can earn a living.
WE HAVE MOVED
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Friday, August 30, 2013
Patriotic Yogurt Parfait
photo by thewordaccordingtoeggface |
It's not hard to find healthy red, white, and blue treats for the kids to eat this Labor Day Weekend. For this healthy snack we simply used fresh strawberries and blueberries and some plain Greek yogurt. If the kids you care for don't like plain yogurt simply use vanilla yogurt instead.
You Will Need:
Fresh red berries (we used strawberries)
Fresh blue berries (we used blueberries)
Plain or vanilla Greek yogurt
Clear dish and spoon
What to Do:
Layer the red berries on the bottom of a clear dish or bowl. Then add a layer of plain or vanilla yogurt. Top with a layer of blue berries.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
How Well Do You Communicate With Your Boss?
How to Communicate Effectively With Your Employers
Nannies must communicate to be understood. Effective communication with employers is essential so that nannies can avoid misunderstandings and develop trust. Nannies develop trust with parents when they listen to parental concerns, when they speak assertively, and when they keep sensitive and personal issues confidential.
When individuals express their wants, needs, and feelings in direct, kind, and appropriate ways they communicate better, feel confident, and are respected and valued. Communicating assertively in a calm, kind, and fair manner connects people bringing them closer to understanding one another.
Non-assertive or passive people do not express their wants, ideas, or feelings or they express them in a self-deprecating way. When people do not stand-up for themselves they often feel like a victim and resent others.
Aggressive people express their wants, ideas, and feelings at the expense of others. Being aggressive by yelling, criticizing, blaming, or speaking in anger, puts up a wall between people, making others defensive. Active aggressive people direct anger openly towards other people.
Passive aggressive people express anger in indirect ways.
Nannies are often passive because they want to avoid conflict and they want to be liked by their employers. Some caregivers wrongly believe that nice people do not get angry and don’t show or express anger or bad feelings. But, there is a difference between being liked and respected.
Some nannies unknowingly create a role for themselves as passive. Nannies are passive when they don’t know what they want or when they feel their feelings are not important. They feel helpless in their jobs. Once in the pattern of communicating passively nannies may think the parents they work for won’t accept them if they change from communicating passively to assertively. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Aggressive behavior often occurs when people naively believe that being aggressive is the only way they will be respected or listened to. It might be helpful to realize that aggressive people typically lack the confidence to appear passive, weak, or frightened.
Assertive behavior is saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Being assertive requires considering the other person’s feelings, wants, and needs. Assertive communicators make eye contact and do not apologize for their personal feelings, wants, or needs. Assertive people do not make threats and do not minimize the importance of an issue to the other person.
Take the little quiz above to see how well you communicate with your employers. If you do not communicate assertively you can still change your style.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Fun with Chalk Series (Part 3)
Wednesdays with Whitney
Nothing means summer more than baseball. Finish off the summer strong by putting that sidewalk chalk to yet another use before the summer ends!
Baseball
Having problems teaching the kids the logistics of baseball without bases? Use chalk to remedy the problem.
1. Start by drawing each base. Make home plate look like a house, and then label the other three, 1, 2, and 3.
2. Draw arrows! Even kids that can count can easily get lost in the moment and forget which number they need to run to first. Draw arrows so they know where to go!
3. Don’t forget to draw the pitcher’s mound! Knowing where to throw the ball from can be tricky for young ones. Draw a ball there so they know what it’s for.
4. Play Ball!
Don’t forget to stop by next Wednesday for a fun project by Whitney Tang and to check out Nanny Magazine. Take her Nanny Magazine survey for nannies at http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/BZYJVMB
Nothing means summer more than baseball. Finish off the summer strong by putting that sidewalk chalk to yet another use before the summer ends!
Baseball
Having problems teaching the kids the logistics of baseball without bases? Use chalk to remedy the problem.
1. Start by drawing each base. Make home plate look like a house, and then label the other three, 1, 2, and 3.
2. Draw arrows! Even kids that can count can easily get lost in the moment and forget which number they need to run to first. Draw arrows so they know where to go!
3. Don’t forget to draw the pitcher’s mound! Knowing where to throw the ball from can be tricky for young ones. Draw a ball there so they know what it’s for.
4. Play Ball!
Don’t forget to stop by next Wednesday for a fun project by Whitney Tang and to check out Nanny Magazine. Take her Nanny Magazine survey for nannies at http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/BZYJVMB
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
What to Say When a Child Says, "But Mom Said I Could!"
Nanny Confessions: Don't Let the Kids Manipulate You
I confess that it annoys me to no end how manipulative kids can be to get what they want. If parents and nannies disagree on child-rearing, kids will easily find a wedge and take advantage of it. In his book How to Say It to Your Kids Dr. Paul Coleman says that while giving in to children's manipulation is a bad strategy, but so is being rigid and inflexible.
In fact, the more rigid caregivers are, the more likely the children will be manipulative to get what they want. All kids are manipulative, so try not to consider it a character flaw. Many good kids act manipulative for three reasons: because in the past it was rewarded, because parents and nanny don't agree on rules, or because a parent or nanny has been inflexible about
rules.
What to Say:
How to Say It to Your Kids
I confess that it annoys me to no end how manipulative kids can be to get what they want. If parents and nannies disagree on child-rearing, kids will easily find a wedge and take advantage of it. In his book How to Say It to Your Kids Dr. Paul Coleman says that while giving in to children's manipulation is a bad strategy, but so is being rigid and inflexible.
In fact, the more rigid caregivers are, the more likely the children will be manipulative to get what they want. All kids are manipulative, so try not to consider it a character flaw. Many good kids act manipulative for three reasons: because in the past it was rewarded, because parents and nanny don't agree on rules, or because a parent or nanny has been inflexible about
rules.
What to Say:
- "This is the first I heard of this. Until I speak to your Mom or Dad I'll have to say no."
- "If you remember, the rule is that I don't agree to something I'm unsure about until your parents and I have a chance to discuss it."
- "I need to think about it first," or "I need to speak to your friend's parents first."
- “You asked me to think about your request and to talk it over with your Mom. I really like that way of asking me something."
- "You are being tricky and dishonest. I won't stand for it!"
- "It's fine with me if it's okay with your Mom." Use this sparingly since it shows flexibility and laziness.
How to Say It to Your Kids
Monday, August 26, 2013
What to Say to Kids About God and Religion
Respecting Professional Boundaries for Nannies and Parents
A benefit of hiring nannies that practice different religions is the opportunity to teach kids about diversity and that people of different religions typically share similar values and morals. Both families and nannies benefit from learning about different cultures, languages, and religions. Sharing simple recipes, customs, and traditions are great ways to appreciate the similarities and differences of others. But, it’s essential that both parents and nannies respect the other if they practice different religions.
Nannies should consult with the parents before discussing God and religion with their charges. Nannies should never give the impression that they are not interested when they don’t know how to answer a question about religion when asked. Instead they should let the kids know they would like to ask the parents when they get home and find out the answer too.
What Nannies Should Say:
By Dr. Coleman, How to Say It to Your Kids
By Dr. Coleman, How to Say It to Your Kids
How to Say It to Your Kids
A benefit of hiring nannies that practice different religions is the opportunity to teach kids about diversity and that people of different religions typically share similar values and morals. Both families and nannies benefit from learning about different cultures, languages, and religions. Sharing simple recipes, customs, and traditions are great ways to appreciate the similarities and differences of others. But, it’s essential that both parents and nannies respect the other if they practice different religions.
Nannies should consult with the parents before discussing God and religion with their charges. Nannies should never give the impression that they are not interested when they don’t know how to answer a question about religion when asked. Instead they should let the kids know they would like to ask the parents when they get home and find out the answer too.
What Nannies Should Say:
- “I’m not sure. Let’s ask your parents when they get home. I’d love to find out too.”
- (If the parents say it’s okay to teach kids a little bit about your religion), “I am Jewish and I believe_____. You are Christian and your family believes _____.”
- “It’s great that we all share the same morals and values.”
By Dr. Coleman, How to Say It to Your Kids
- If the child asks, "What is God like?" answer, "I have never seen God, but I believe God is all love and all powerful."
- If the child asks, "What is heaven like?" you might answer, "Nobody knows for sure. But your parents believe it is a place where we can be with God and with people we love and be happy forever. What would you hope to see in heaven?"
- "When our dog dies, will he go to heaven?" "I would like to think so. Do you think you will see your dog and pets in heaven?"
- "Are people that don't believe in God bad?" "No. Many people have different beliefs and that is not bad."
By Dr. Coleman, How to Say It to Your Kids
- "If you don't obey me (or your parents), God will punish you." The idea that God is a policeman is very limiting. Adults must provide consequences to the children when they do not behave.
- "If you don't obey me, (or your parents) God won't love you." God should not be used as a threat. Children should approach God with warmth and respect, not fear.
How to Say It to Your Kids
Sunday, August 25, 2013
"I Can Do It" Get Ready for School Reward Chart
Product Review Sunday: Products Nannies Love
If the school-aged kids you care for haven't gone back to school yet they will be after Labor Day. To make mornings less stressful, wouldn't it be great if the kids would help get ready for school?
If you are tired of always having to rush in the morning and constantly having to tell the children what they have to get ready for school the I Can Do It! School Chart can help tremendously.
Children thrive on praise and a little incentive goes a long way. This chart gives parents and nannies the tools to help raise more responsible, self- reliant kids. The I Can Do It! School Chart is designed to make getting ready for school seem like a game so the kids will have fun while learning to be more independent.
Children simply moves their tasks from the red to the green as they complete them.When all their tasks are in the green they're ready for school! It's that simple. Then you can give them stars for that day.
There are 10 different, colorful tasks to choose from on the chart. It has strong magnetic strips to hold it securely to any metal surface, like the refrigerator. The sturdy plastic stars and tasks attach easily with hook and loop circles. Colorful pictures aid young children in understanding the tasks and the chart can be customized to meet your specific needs.
Tasks Included:
Get Up On Time
Get Dressed
Brush Teeth/Hair
Make Your Bed
Eat Breakfast
Pack Backpack
Put on Shoes and Coat
Wash Face
Take Medicine/Vitamin
Blank Task to Make Your Own
There are plenty of supplemental packs to use along with the school chart:
If the school-aged kids you care for haven't gone back to school yet they will be after Labor Day. To make mornings less stressful, wouldn't it be great if the kids would help get ready for school?
If you are tired of always having to rush in the morning and constantly having to tell the children what they have to get ready for school the I Can Do It! School Chart can help tremendously.
Children thrive on praise and a little incentive goes a long way. This chart gives parents and nannies the tools to help raise more responsible, self- reliant kids. The I Can Do It! School Chart is designed to make getting ready for school seem like a game so the kids will have fun while learning to be more independent.
Children simply moves their tasks from the red to the green as they complete them.When all their tasks are in the green they're ready for school! It's that simple. Then you can give them stars for that day.
There are 10 different, colorful tasks to choose from on the chart. It has strong magnetic strips to hold it securely to any metal surface, like the refrigerator. The sturdy plastic stars and tasks attach easily with hook and loop circles. Colorful pictures aid young children in understanding the tasks and the chart can be customized to meet your specific needs.
Tasks Included:
Get Up On Time
Get Dressed
Brush Teeth/Hair
Make Your Bed
Eat Breakfast
Pack Backpack
Put on Shoes and Coat
Wash Face
Take Medicine/Vitamin
Blank Task to Make Your Own
There are plenty of supplemental packs to use along with the school chart:
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Ballerina Swan and Giraffes Can't Dance Activity Book
Weekly Trip to the Library
Review by Cindy Wilkinson
Whether you are a swan eager to fit in with a class of budding ballerinas or a giraffe yearning to join in the Jungle Dance with his animal friends, dancing is for everyone! Each of these books shares an important message to it's young readers: we can all find great joy and a way to participate in the dance experience! How someone looks is much less important than the passion that he or she has toward this amazing art form.
I recommend both of these books for young children. Each book shows the sadness that one find's in feeling he or she is different. Sophie, the swan, was initially shooed away for being webbed and winged. But, once she was given the opportunity to give her best effort, she eventually overcame the challenges and joined her ballerina friends in a performance of Swan Lake. Gerald, the giraffe, was first teased when he first tried out his dance moves, and was taunted with comments of looking so very weird. With a bit of encouragement from a cricket, he found that everyone can dance if you find music that you love!
So look for these great books the next time you are seeking a wonderful story to empower your little one! Here are the links to Ballerina Swan by Allegra Kent and Emily Arnold McCully Giraffes Can't Danceby Giles Andreae and Guy Parker-Rees.
Cynthia Wilkinson is a musician, teacher, and career nanny. All children love her original compact discs which include:Jumpin' Up to the Moonand Jumpin' on Down the Road. In 2009, she began her Jumpin’ With Cindy Music Blog for parents, teachers, and nannies with the latest trends and information on arts education for children. She was also awarded the 1998 International Nanny Association’s Nanny of the Year Award.
Purchase your own copies of the books by clicking links below:
Ballerina Swan
Jumpin' Up to the Moon
Review by Cindy Wilkinson
Whether you are a swan eager to fit in with a class of budding ballerinas or a giraffe yearning to join in the Jungle Dance with his animal friends, dancing is for everyone! Each of these books shares an important message to it's young readers: we can all find great joy and a way to participate in the dance experience! How someone looks is much less important than the passion that he or she has toward this amazing art form.
I recommend both of these books for young children. Each book shows the sadness that one find's in feeling he or she is different. Sophie, the swan, was initially shooed away for being webbed and winged. But, once she was given the opportunity to give her best effort, she eventually overcame the challenges and joined her ballerina friends in a performance of Swan Lake. Gerald, the giraffe, was first teased when he first tried out his dance moves, and was taunted with comments of looking so very weird. With a bit of encouragement from a cricket, he found that everyone can dance if you find music that you love!
So look for these great books the next time you are seeking a wonderful story to empower your little one! Here are the links to Ballerina Swan by Allegra Kent and Emily Arnold McCully Giraffes Can't Danceby Giles Andreae and Guy Parker-Rees.
Cynthia Wilkinson is a musician, teacher, and career nanny. All children love her original compact discs which include:Jumpin' Up to the Moonand Jumpin' on Down the Road. In 2009, she began her Jumpin’ With Cindy Music Blog for parents, teachers, and nannies with the latest trends and information on arts education for children. She was also awarded the 1998 International Nanny Association’s Nanny of the Year Award.
Purchase your own copies of the books by clicking links below:
Ballerina Swan
Jumpin' Up to the Moon
Friday, August 23, 2013
Tricycle Obstacle Course
End of Summer Fun for Nannies and Kids
Tricycles help preschoolers develop coordination skills and are great exercise. Making a tricycle obstacle course is not only fun for preschoolers but let older kids help make the tricycle obstacle course. The course can be simple, or more complex, it's up to you. But remember that the course must be safe. Make sure kids wear helmets anytime they ride a bike or trike and you must supervise the fun.
What You Will Need:
Chalk
Pavement
Bicycle or tricycle
Bicycle helmet
Cones, hoola hoops, balls, chairs, jump ropes (optional)
What to Do:
Let the older kids in the family help set up the obstacle course.
Use cones and draw an obstacle course using sidewalk chalk that tricycle riders can weave through.
Include turns, straight lines, and circles. Place fun objects like hula hoop in the middle of the course for them to circle around.
We made a bridge out of two chairs and a lightweight foam snow board. Never use heavy toys or objects that could fall or tip over on a child. Safety should always be your priority.
Tricycles help preschoolers develop coordination skills and are great exercise. Making a tricycle obstacle course is not only fun for preschoolers but let older kids help make the tricycle obstacle course. The course can be simple, or more complex, it's up to you. But remember that the course must be safe. Make sure kids wear helmets anytime they ride a bike or trike and you must supervise the fun.
Put front tire between 2 lines |
What You Will Need:
Chalk
Pavement
Bicycle or tricycle
Bicycle helmet
Cones, hoola hoops, balls, chairs, jump ropes (optional)
Bridge |
Let the older kids in the family help set up the obstacle course.
Use cones and draw an obstacle course using sidewalk chalk that tricycle riders can weave through.
Include turns, straight lines, and circles. Place fun objects like hula hoop in the middle of the course for them to circle around.
We made a bridge out of two chairs and a lightweight foam snow board. Never use heavy toys or objects that could fall or tip over on a child. Safety should always be your priority.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
What is the Hardest Topics to Discuss with the Parents?
How to Talk to Parents About Difficult Topics
Be the Best Nanny Newsletter asked 757 in-home child care providers what were the most difficult topics to discuss with their employers. Survey participants answered that discussing a raise is the hardest topic to discuss with parents and the safety of the kids is the easiest topic to discuss with their employers. See the results in the graph to the left.
Here is advice from some of the poll respondents about how to speak with their employers.
Lisa, a nanny in Pasadena, Maryland suggested, "Try to have meetings without children present if something comes up that is really important. I don't talk about the job or the child in front of the child. Also, I keep a notebook, which is a daily log of everything we do, issues that come up, scheduling conflicts, and so on. I suggest being flexible and working with the parents. It will benefit you down the road."
Sarah, a nanny from Atlanta, Georgia answered, "Even though you think your employers might say, ‘No,’ to something, you need to ask anyway. They cannot say, ‘Yes,’ if you never ask them the question."
Melissa, an au pair from Australia working in Boston explained, “Au pairs complain to me about their jobs. But, it’s a waste of time and rude to discuss the family issues with other caregivers instead of with the parents. Instead of talking to me, they must speak to their employers about their jobs. Nannies and au pairs should not expect parents to read their minds. Employers cannot fix something they don’t know is broken.”
Beth, a nanny from Los Angeles, California recommended, "I am always a little nervous when speaking to my employers about the business side of things like salary, benefits, and time-off. However, I feel strongly that child care providers need to stand up for [themselves]. No one else with stand up for you, so you must do it yourself. I put a lot of preparation into these conversations."
Janice, a nanny from Cambridge, Massachusetts recommended, "Listen as well as talk with parents. Look for win-win solutions. Consider that telling parents things that may be hard to hear about their children may require extra gentleness and tact."
Debi, a nanny and household manager in Mendham, New Jersey advised, "Stick to what you know is right. Don't allow any employer to pressure you to do something that you aren't comfortable doing.”
Cortney, a newborn care specialist and parent educator from Franklin, Indiana explained, "Make you sure all parties have the same expectations. Discuss [responsibilities] before taking the job and put them in your contract. Don't let things fester. If something bugs you, schedule a meeting right away and discuss things in a professional way. If you or the parents have a problem, be sure to bring several good solutions to the discussion."
Lisa, a nanny from Maryland explained, "If you don't communicate when things are bad, the issues will never get solved and probably get worse."
Lora, a nanny trainer and consultant from Washington shared, "Realize that communication skills are something you learn, not something you're born with. Be proactive by learning new skills and improving your current ones. Know what your goals are and stay focused on those goals throughout the conversation. Remember that when you're discussing salary or benefits you are worth what you're asking for."
Be the Best Nanny Newsletter asked 757 in-home child care providers what were the most difficult topics to discuss with their employers. Survey participants answered that discussing a raise is the hardest topic to discuss with parents and the safety of the kids is the easiest topic to discuss with their employers. See the results in the graph to the left.
Here is advice from some of the poll respondents about how to speak with their employers.
Lisa, a nanny in Pasadena, Maryland suggested, "Try to have meetings without children present if something comes up that is really important. I don't talk about the job or the child in front of the child. Also, I keep a notebook, which is a daily log of everything we do, issues that come up, scheduling conflicts, and so on. I suggest being flexible and working with the parents. It will benefit you down the road."
Sarah, a nanny from Atlanta, Georgia answered, "Even though you think your employers might say, ‘No,’ to something, you need to ask anyway. They cannot say, ‘Yes,’ if you never ask them the question."
Melissa, an au pair from Australia working in Boston explained, “Au pairs complain to me about their jobs. But, it’s a waste of time and rude to discuss the family issues with other caregivers instead of with the parents. Instead of talking to me, they must speak to their employers about their jobs. Nannies and au pairs should not expect parents to read their minds. Employers cannot fix something they don’t know is broken.”
Beth, a nanny from Los Angeles, California recommended, "I am always a little nervous when speaking to my employers about the business side of things like salary, benefits, and time-off. However, I feel strongly that child care providers need to stand up for [themselves]. No one else with stand up for you, so you must do it yourself. I put a lot of preparation into these conversations."
Janice, a nanny from Cambridge, Massachusetts recommended, "Listen as well as talk with parents. Look for win-win solutions. Consider that telling parents things that may be hard to hear about their children may require extra gentleness and tact."
Debi, a nanny and household manager in Mendham, New Jersey advised, "Stick to what you know is right. Don't allow any employer to pressure you to do something that you aren't comfortable doing.”
Cortney, a newborn care specialist and parent educator from Franklin, Indiana explained, "Make you sure all parties have the same expectations. Discuss [responsibilities] before taking the job and put them in your contract. Don't let things fester. If something bugs you, schedule a meeting right away and discuss things in a professional way. If you or the parents have a problem, be sure to bring several good solutions to the discussion."
Lisa, a nanny from Maryland explained, "If you don't communicate when things are bad, the issues will never get solved and probably get worse."
Lora, a nanny trainer and consultant from Washington shared, "Realize that communication skills are something you learn, not something you're born with. Be proactive by learning new skills and improving your current ones. Know what your goals are and stay focused on those goals throughout the conversation. Remember that when you're discussing salary or benefits you are worth what you're asking for."
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Fun with Chalk Series (Part 2)
The kids are beginning to get bored with sidewalk chalk now that summer is nearing an end. Spice it up with this second installation of the Fun with Chalk Series.
Race Car Track
Why draw a smiley face or a beach scene when you can be drawing the race track of every kid’s dreams?
1. Start at your house and make a winding, dizzy, twirly race track all the way down the driveway or sidewalk and back again. This will be the longest car race track they’ve ever seen!
2. Be sure to make the track wide enough for multiple cars – you never know when a neighbor kid might stop by for a friendly challenge.
3. On that note, be sure to include a pit area! Those tires need to be changed!
4. Finally, don’t forget the elements! Now that the cars are racing outside, they are subject to rain (sprinkler), wind (people blowing), and gravel (feel free to put obstacles like rocks and branches in their way).
Don’t forget to stop by next Wednesday for a fun project by Whitney Tang and to check out her new venture Nanny Magazine. Take her Nanny Magazine survey for nannies at http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/BZYJVMB
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Opinion-Shopping: When Kids Ask Parents Although Nanny Already Gave Them an Answer
Nanny Confessions: Back Me Up
I confess there are few things as annoying as when the kids call their parents because I didn’t give them the answer they wanted. My Dad Boss calls it opinion-shopping: when kids keep asking the adults in charge a question that was already answered by another adult, to try to get permission to do what they want.
Opinion-shopping by kids is just as aggravating to the parents as it is for nannies. All kids are manipulative so there’s no need for nannies or parents to take it personally when the children opinion-shop. But, adults shouldn’t ignore the problem either.
It benefits both employers and nannies to back one another up. Nannies and parents must communicate together to make sure they are on the same page. As a united front they should explain to the kids that once a parent or nanny makes a decision, the other adults will support those decisions.
When in doubt, parents and nannies should check in with the other. Parents and nannies can quickly text or call the other to confirm that the other hasn’t already said “No” to the children.
Don’t let kids pit parents and nannies against one another. If things get bad enough parents need to create consequences the kids can expect if they continue opinion-shopping when their nanny has already said “No.”
I confess there are few things as annoying as when the kids call their parents because I didn’t give them the answer they wanted. My Dad Boss calls it opinion-shopping: when kids keep asking the adults in charge a question that was already answered by another adult, to try to get permission to do what they want.
Opinion-shopping by kids is just as aggravating to the parents as it is for nannies. All kids are manipulative so there’s no need for nannies or parents to take it personally when the children opinion-shop. But, adults shouldn’t ignore the problem either.
It benefits both employers and nannies to back one another up. Nannies and parents must communicate together to make sure they are on the same page. As a united front they should explain to the kids that once a parent or nanny makes a decision, the other adults will support those decisions.
When in doubt, parents and nannies should check in with the other. Parents and nannies can quickly text or call the other to confirm that the other hasn’t already said “No” to the children.
Don’t let kids pit parents and nannies against one another. If things get bad enough parents need to create consequences the kids can expect if they continue opinion-shopping when their nanny has already said “No.”
Monday, August 19, 2013
How to Answer “Where Do Babies Come From?”
Respecting Professional Boundaries for Nannies and Parents
It's a good idea to talk to the parents about how they would like you to answer the question before a child asks, "Where do babies come from?" Each parent has different experiences, customs, and comfort levels when discussing the topic. So, it’s essential for nannies to respect the parents’ wishes when discussing topics of sex, love making, or where babies come from with children.
In Dr. Paul Coleman’s book, How to Say It to Your Kidsthe author explains that although it's best to be honest with children, there is no need to be graphic.
Dr. Coleman suggests when answering the question asking where babies come from caregivers should take their cues from the child. Present the information in simple concepts and language so children will not have a hard time understanding. Experts say that by age four or five, most children will start asking questions about how babies are born, so parents and caregivers can take advantage of that natural curiosity. By eight or nine a child should be able to comprehend genetics and sexual intercourse according to the New York University Child Study Center.
Borrowing age-appropriate books from the library on the subject is also helpful.
Dr. Paul Coleman’s List of What to Say:
How to Say It to Your Kids
It's a good idea to talk to the parents about how they would like you to answer the question before a child asks, "Where do babies come from?" Each parent has different experiences, customs, and comfort levels when discussing the topic. So, it’s essential for nannies to respect the parents’ wishes when discussing topics of sex, love making, or where babies come from with children.
In Dr. Paul Coleman’s book, How to Say It to Your Kidsthe author explains that although it's best to be honest with children, there is no need to be graphic.
Dr. Coleman suggests when answering the question asking where babies come from caregivers should take their cues from the child. Present the information in simple concepts and language so children will not have a hard time understanding. Experts say that by age four or five, most children will start asking questions about how babies are born, so parents and caregivers can take advantage of that natural curiosity. By eight or nine a child should be able to comprehend genetics and sexual intercourse according to the New York University Child Study Center.
Borrowing age-appropriate books from the library on the subject is also helpful.
Dr. Paul Coleman’s List of What to Say:
- "The baby grows from an egg in the mommy's womb, pointing to the stomach, and comes out of the vagina." Depending on the child's age you can say that. There is no need to explain the act of lovemaking because very young kids will not understand the concept.
- "When a man and a woman love each other, they like to be close to one another. The man's sperm joins the woman's egg and then the baby begins to grow." Most kids under the age of six will accept this answer.
- "I'm really glad you asked that question. It was a good question. Please come to me anytime you want to know more."
- "Where did you hear that word? Who told you those ideas? We don't talk about such things in this house."
- "You are too young to ask those questions." Your answers can be short and sweet and age appropriate.
- "Well, in the woman are organs called ovaries, and they contain tiny eggs. Each month an egg is released into the fallopian tube..." It's best to keep answers short and general in nature.
How to Say It to Your Kids
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Juice in the Box - Products Nannies Love
Product Review Sunday
It's almost the end of summer and nannies and au pairs will be packing lunch boxes by September. Most kids love juice boxes, but they are wasteful for the environment and often filled with unhealthy drinks. Instead, we recommend trying Juice in the Box a reusable juice box to encourage healthier kids and a healthier planet.
Juice in the Box is a reusable drink box made with near indestructible Tritan. It's safe, completely chemical free, easy to clean and comes in five great colors.
In the US, over one-third of children are overweight or obese. Sugar sweetened drinks including those found in Tetra Pack juice boxes, has been a major contributor. Recent studies have found that replacing sugared drinks with water or sugar free drinks has a positive on slowing weight gain among children.
Juice in the Box gives parents and caregivers the ability to control what kids are drinking. Getting them to think healthy and offering them better choices is key for them now and it helps them develop strong habits for the rest of their lives.
We've become a throwaway society, creating more as we purchase more and more packaged goods. Traditional Tetra Pack juice boxes are thrown away by the millions, and it takes at least 300 years for a single box to decompose. Reusing helps the environment by using less waste. Going green doesn't need to cost more green. Over the course of a year, the average family can save hundreds of dollars by using Juice in the Box.
Juice in the Box is 100% spill proof. The square shape fits into lunch boxes, its BPA and Phthalate free, and dishwasher safe.
Each Juice in the Box costs merely $12 and they have straw and parts replacement kids.
Stop by next Sunday for another product review.
It's almost the end of summer and nannies and au pairs will be packing lunch boxes by September. Most kids love juice boxes, but they are wasteful for the environment and often filled with unhealthy drinks. Instead, we recommend trying Juice in the Box a reusable juice box to encourage healthier kids and a healthier planet.
Juice in the Box is a reusable drink box made with near indestructible Tritan. It's safe, completely chemical free, easy to clean and comes in five great colors.
In the US, over one-third of children are overweight or obese. Sugar sweetened drinks including those found in Tetra Pack juice boxes, has been a major contributor. Recent studies have found that replacing sugared drinks with water or sugar free drinks has a positive on slowing weight gain among children.
Juice in the Box gives parents and caregivers the ability to control what kids are drinking. Getting them to think healthy and offering them better choices is key for them now and it helps them develop strong habits for the rest of their lives.
We've become a throwaway society, creating more as we purchase more and more packaged goods. Traditional Tetra Pack juice boxes are thrown away by the millions, and it takes at least 300 years for a single box to decompose. Reusing helps the environment by using less waste. Going green doesn't need to cost more green. Over the course of a year, the average family can save hundreds of dollars by using Juice in the Box.
Juice in the Box is 100% spill proof. The square shape fits into lunch boxes, its BPA and Phthalate free, and dishwasher safe.
Each Juice in the Box costs merely $12 and they have straw and parts replacement kids.
Stop by next Sunday for another product review.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Have a Teddy Bear Picnic While Reading "The Teddy Bears’ Picnic"
The Teddy Bears' Picnic by Jimmy Kennedy
All boys and girls all have teddy bears. Teddy Bears' Picnic is a classic book loved by all children. After reading the book listen to a recording of the song that has the same verses as the book. Songs help children hear syllables. Along with reading The Teddy Bears' Picnic by Jimmy Kennedy pull out a blanket or towel to mimic a picnic blanket and have the kids gather all their teddy bears and bring them to the picnic blanket. Kids will love doing all the activities described below.
Activity One: Have a Teddy Bear Picnic
Of course after reading The Teddy Bears' Picnic you must have a picnic, (indoors or out). To make it extra special use teddy bear cookie cutters when cutting the sandwiches, serve honey chicken strips, honey cake, and Teddy Grahams teddy bear shaped cookies. To make the teddy bear sandwiches pictured above use a large circle cookie cutter to make bread into a circle. Spread peanut butter on the bread. Cut out three 3/4-inch to one-inch banana slices horizontally from the banana. Put two banana slices on the bread to look like ears and one on the bottom of the bread to represent the nose. Put two raisins in between the ears to look like eyes and one raisin on the bottom banana to look like the bear's nose.
Activity Two: Make Teddy Bear Masks
Simply print out and cut out this teddy bear mask. Allow the kids to color and past different-textured materials to the mask. Click here for the cute mask from craftjr.com.
Activity Three: Sing and Act Out Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear
While you sing this song be sure to turn around, touch the ground, jump, take a bow, reach up high, and wave good-bye.
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear
Turn around
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear
Touch the ground
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear
Jump up now!
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear
Take a bow
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear
Arms up high
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear
Wave good-bye!
Activity Four: Dress up Your Teddy Bears
Let the kids dress up their teddy bears in doll clothing. For the more adventurous nannies, make real vests for the teddy bears with felt. Here is how from birthdayinabox.com
Activity Five: Big Bear Game
This game is from about.com. One person hides behind a bush and that person pretends to be the big bear. The other players go fairly far away from the bush. When the game begins the people who aren't bears run to the bush and call "big bear big bear come out"; they keep calling for a while and can run back to their spot and start over again. The "bear " can come out whenever it wants and tag someone; the person tagged becomes the bear.
Activity Six: Teddy Bear Puzzle:
Print out this teddy bear puzzle and let the kids color it and cut it and put it back together again and again.
Activity Seven: Bear Charades
List and discuss the things bears do such as: catch fish, get honey from a hive, sleeping in a den, and climbing a tree. One person acts out a bear activity without saying anything and everyone else tries to guess what activity the bear is doing.
Get your own copy by clicking image and title below:
The Teddy Bears' Picnic
All boys and girls all have teddy bears. Teddy Bears' Picnic is a classic book loved by all children. After reading the book listen to a recording of the song that has the same verses as the book. Songs help children hear syllables. Along with reading The Teddy Bears' Picnic by Jimmy Kennedy pull out a blanket or towel to mimic a picnic blanket and have the kids gather all their teddy bears and bring them to the picnic blanket. Kids will love doing all the activities described below.
Activity One: Have a Teddy Bear Picnic
Of course after reading The Teddy Bears' Picnic you must have a picnic, (indoors or out). To make it extra special use teddy bear cookie cutters when cutting the sandwiches, serve honey chicken strips, honey cake, and Teddy Grahams teddy bear shaped cookies. To make the teddy bear sandwiches pictured above use a large circle cookie cutter to make bread into a circle. Spread peanut butter on the bread. Cut out three 3/4-inch to one-inch banana slices horizontally from the banana. Put two banana slices on the bread to look like ears and one on the bottom of the bread to represent the nose. Put two raisins in between the ears to look like eyes and one raisin on the bottom banana to look like the bear's nose.
Activity Two: Make Teddy Bear Masks
Simply print out and cut out this teddy bear mask. Allow the kids to color and past different-textured materials to the mask. Click here for the cute mask from craftjr.com.
Activity Three: Sing and Act Out Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear
While you sing this song be sure to turn around, touch the ground, jump, take a bow, reach up high, and wave good-bye.
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear
Turn around
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear
Touch the ground
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear
Jump up now!
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear
Take a bow
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear
Arms up high
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear
Wave good-bye!
Activity Four: Dress up Your Teddy Bears
Let the kids dress up their teddy bears in doll clothing. For the more adventurous nannies, make real vests for the teddy bears with felt. Here is how from birthdayinabox.com
Activity Five: Big Bear Game
This game is from about.com. One person hides behind a bush and that person pretends to be the big bear. The other players go fairly far away from the bush. When the game begins the people who aren't bears run to the bush and call "big bear big bear come out"; they keep calling for a while and can run back to their spot and start over again. The "bear " can come out whenever it wants and tag someone; the person tagged becomes the bear.
Activity Six: Teddy Bear Puzzle:
Print out this teddy bear puzzle and let the kids color it and cut it and put it back together again and again.
Activity Seven: Bear Charades
List and discuss the things bears do such as: catch fish, get honey from a hive, sleeping in a den, and climbing a tree. One person acts out a bear activity without saying anything and everyone else tries to guess what activity the bear is doing.
Get your own copy by clicking image and title below:
The Teddy Bears' Picnic
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