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DISNEY FAMILY FUN
Many kids seem to talk nonstop. Listening, however, tends to be more of a challenge for kids, many of whom are "selective listeners," according to website Baby Center. Because good listening skills are an important life skill and a key aspect of effective communication, it's best to foster good listening skills in children as early as possible.
Eye Contact
Make eye contact with the person who is speaking to fully absorb what is being said. This is an effective listening tool, according to KidsGoals.com. Ask your child to practice making eye contact with you while you are speaking at first, and then with others when he feels more comfortable.
No "Barking"
Constantly saying things like, "Why don't you listen?" or "Listen to me when I talk to you," can put negative pressure on your kids and derail your intentions, according to the Exforsys Inc. website. Be patient, and get your child's attention first, then state your wishes.
Rhymimg Games
Play rhyming games. Baby Center says playing rhyming games motivates your child to listen for patterns in sentences and to become highly attuned to the sounds of words and their content. Your rhymes can be absurd and humorous, and you and your child can take turns adding on to the rhyme.
Lead by Example
The best way to teach a child effective listening skills is to be an excellent listener yourself. Exhibit all of the qualities of a good listener in your dealings with her and others. You'll find that the need for you to actually teach listening skills will diminish. Keep Kids Healthy emphasizes that if you don't listen to what your child is saying, you're setting a flawed example. Listen closely to what your child is saying without interrupting and provide opinion or feedback on what he has said. By respecting what he is saying, you're teaching him to respect others while they talk.
Tomorrow: Games and Activities to Play with Kid to Help Them Listen
Here are just a few of their activities that improve listening skills:
Listening Cap: "Put your listening cap on." Turn this familiar saying into a tool to help children remember to be a good listener. Draw big ears on a baseball cap and label it "Listening Cap." When you need a child to concentrate on what you are saying, give him the listening cap. Pretend the cap has super-powers that are activitated when the wearer looks into the eyes of the speaker and focuses on what is being said.
Pay Attention Jar: Write the word "Attention" on an empty glass jar and fill a second jar with pennies or nickels. Label the second jar with the child's name. Each time the child fails to listen to you , tell her to put a coin from her joar into the "Attention" jar. At the end of te week, seh can keep the coins remaining in her jar.
Pass the Ball: In this game only the person holding the ball may speak. Deaf people who sign cannot communicate unless their listeners are watching, a conversation involving many people can fall apart if everyone isn't taking turns speaking and everyone isn't looking at the speaker. Pass the Ball borrows from an ancient custome of certain Native American tribes who passed a peace pipe. Everyone would sit in a circle and wait for the pipe before speaking. Use this concept in the family. If someone wants to speak, they have to ask for the ball.
Telephone: Teach children how scrambled a message can become when it's passed along to other people. Players sit in a straight line. The person at one end whipsers a brief message to the next person, who whispers the same message to the third in line, who whispers it to the fourth, and so on. The last person in the line repeats the message out loud. Is it correct, or is it completely different from the original? Talk with the kids about the results and the importance of listeing carefully to get a message correct.
When I heard one of my charges needs to work on listening to his teacher in school, I realized he doesn't listen to me well at home. I have to repeat myself often before he does what is asked of him. Should I really need to remind him "upteen times" to do normal daily activities like changing into his baseball uniform, or brush his teeth and hair, or put his completed homework in his backpack? Perhaps if I can help teach him to listen to me and follow my directions at home, he will learn to better listen and follow directions at school. So, I searched the internet for ideas to get kids to listen and follow directions. This week I will share what I found.
Lisa Collier Cool is a widely published writer and mother of three. In the June 1996 issue of Working Mother magazine her article "How Kids Learn to Follow Directions" described the results of a study by Edward Christophersen, PhD. Christophersen. Christophersen is the author of Beyond Discipline : Parenting That Lasts a Lifetime. He, and other experts, advise that the methods parents typically use to get children to listen are ineffective. Here are some of their advice of how to steer clear of some common mistakes.
Don't Say "Don't" A negative instruction like "Don't let me come home and find that you still haven't done your homework!" is much more likely to be ignored than one that gives a positive alternative, such as "Please get started on your homework right after you eat your snack this afternoon." Emphasizing what [the] child is not to do has pitfalls, Chistophersen says. Kids under age frequently misunderstand negate directions -— particularly if they are shouted —- and may hear "Don't bring that wet dog into your room" as a command to "Bring the wet dog into your room." Older children may find that disregarding a "don't" can be more rewarding than obeying it: They get your attention that way.
Reasoning Gets Little or No Results: Explaining why certain actions are undesirable -— "If you leave your toys lying around, you might trip over them and hurt yourself" -— has no impact on children under age six, Christophersen finds. Your words simply go in one ear and out the other. "A young child doesn't relate to abstract future consequences, so he's not likely to be motivated by a warning like this. Since he isn't hurt right now, he doesn't feel there's anything to worry about." With an older child, a detailed list of reasons for every rule can spark a tedious debate or, at best, create short-lived compliance, he adds. You might get a 10-year-old to return a book to the library on time by explaining that if she doesn't, she'll have to pay the fine out of her allowance. However, she'll probably forget to return the next book she borrows because at this age, dipping into her piggy bank isn't nearly as painful as wasting playtime to walk to the library.
The More You Nag, the Less Kids Listen: It's very easy for parents to slip into the "nagging and shouting syndrome," observes psychotherapist James Windell, MA, author of Children Who Say No When You Want Them to Say Yes. "When a child doesn't respond the first time she's told to do something, parents often repeat the request over and over until they finally lose their temper and start shouting. The message you give your child when you let her tune you out many times is that there's no need to pay attention to you until you're screaming."
Avoid Empty Ultimatums or Threats: Making impulsive threats when a child doesn't listen, such as "Do this right now, or I'm going to ground you!" is another common mistake parents make, Windell says. This can create a no-win situation, because kids resent being forced to give in. As a result, they often get angry and end up focusing on that anger instead of concentrating on what you asked them to do.